| Maybe life is getting better... maybe. Hopefully, I'll be able to do something with my life before I graduate. T.T I suppose it's been a while since I've been on here... Since Drum Major tryouts, actually. Wow... that's a long ass time! Well, I guess it's inevitable that I think about the Drum Major crap, so I'll spill what I can and be done with it... since I'm sure that's what you all want me to do. Yeah, I'm hurt. I'm hurt very deeply. And I know that it's hard for some people to accept because their friend made it, and not them, but they have to think about next year. They'll have another chance, and if they work their ass off, then their dream will come true as well.
As for me, I'm done. I did the best I could during the camp, I got compliments, and I was assured that I'd do, at least, a decent job at the tryouts. Once again, my nerves got the best of me, and I turned into jelly. Everything I did was wrong in my eyes, and probably the judges as well, and I got nothing out of that audition except devastation. Nobody was there to reassure me afterwards, once again, and nobody was there to cheer me up... once again.
When Roxanne called Katrina's name, I was torn into shreds... but, I was happy for her. She deserved it, and I know she's going to be an awesome leader for this band program. I couldn't be happier for her, and I wish her the best of luck with everything that comes her way.
Of course, naturally, I wish it was me. I wish it was me being a leader, being a role model, being someone I could learn to respect, and being someone I could be proud of, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Everyday I regret the auditions, and I always think about how my life would have been different if I had gotten myself together. There are still moments where I'll just sit down and think about it, crying, wishing it had turned out differently.
I suppose my future doesn't unclude podiums, black and purple uniforms, leather gloves, and lots of yelling...
Well... maybe yelling 
Alright... I'm done, I'm done, I'm done! I hope you're all happy. As for life... a lot has happened. I'm auditioning for Symphonic Band on regular Clarinet because Mr. Pirzer thinks the Clarinet section will be very weak next year. Hopefully, I'll be able to help out with that situation, and, possibly, make the Clarinet section 'socially acceptable' to the rest of the band via many sectionals and meetings. Now, don't get all over me like Spider Monkeys, because I know you know that I'm right. Scott and Chris will be gone, which leaves Kat, Karen, and me as the upcoming upperclassmen (who are fairly decent musicians) to represent the section. Don't get me wrong, I wish it was more than just us, but sometimes wishes can't simply just come true. Everyone needs to step up and do their part to make everything flow, and I feel the Clarinet section hasn't quite done that just yet... or, at least, everyone in the section.
The Baritone section seems to be about the same size. Skippy and Susanna are leaving, and we should be gaining at least 1 new freshmen, Brooke Shutterly (yeah... that is exciting!). And, if Andrew Parker can convice him, Austin Parker (yes, another sibling) should be joining the section too. But, he's not sure if he wants to do Drumline or Low Brass. Hopefully, he'll pick the Low Brass Section, since he naturally plays the Trombone, and that he knows me personally already... which would make the change from concert band to marching band that much easier on him. Maybe we'll get another Freshman, but I'm still not 100% sure.
Daytona Beach trip is this Friday! I am so excited, especially since Dean isn't going  Trust me, you'd be happy too if he was your brother! I've made a list of some things I want to bring, and I'm hoping I didn't leave anything out, since I usually forget at least 1 thing whenever I go somewhere. I'm not sure if I'm going to have anything nice to wear to the dance, but that doesn't matter, since the dance will be cut an hour shorter so we can go swimming! Yay! Less dancing! I wish Nick was going on the trip, and I'm pretty upset that he's not, but I'll try to have fun without him. 
FOR THE NOSEY PEOPLE: ME AND NICK ARE NOT DATING! 
Nick is, pretty much, my best guy friend on the planet, and I love him more than anything, but not in a romantic sense, so don't go pointin' fingers at us whispering, starting rumors! I've had to clear up quite a few of those, and I don't feel like doing it anymore. So, get it through your skulls: We're not dating! I wish he was going, though, and I'll miss him lots over the weekend, but hopefully we'll be able to hang out more over the summer or something.
Prom. Nope, not going. I'm not even sure I'll go next year, even though I know I'll look back in about 5 years and regret it. Maybe I should go, just to make my older self feel like I actually did something while I was in high school... maybe. Don't know who I'd go with, if anybody. I don't know. Things can change drastically in a year, so hopefully I will, too.
Marching Band is coming really soon, and I'm moderately excited. Hearing Ms. Sickon say that we may have to do some acting really excites me, and I can't wait to perform the show to the max! The only thing I'll hate this season will be Band Camp. Ugh... but, I'll live. It's only going to be for 4 days this year, and the we (the Low Brass, and maybe the Tubas if they want) are going to have a pool party at the Westside Pool on the Friday we're off. Hopefully the Tubas can come, mainly because Nick will be there (and that would make everything automatically awesome), and because they're a part of the Low Brass as well. Should be fun, and we should be ordering pizza, too. 
I'm going to be a senior this year!  Kinda sad. I'm going to be all grown up before I know it, and poppin' out little babies one day, filing for retirement the next, and it's kinda hard to think about. For some reason, I can't really picture myself as a grown woman with a steady job, with a boyfriend/husband, with kids, with grandkids... with anything. Either I'm not ready to grow up, or I just have an under-developed imagination...
I'm still not sure what I want to do shool-wise, but I do know I want to be a teacher. A Band/Orchestra Director, actually. I'm not quite sure how I'll manage with school, money, and whatever else I'll have to do, but I'll have to find a way, somehow. I know I'm still planning on joining The Crossmen after I graduate, and I intend to follow through with that until I age out. After that, I'm pretty sure I'll be consumed by school for another few years. Hopefully, I'll manage to dabble my way through various Orchestras, music schools, and tutoring, to make myself into a socially acceptable (yet totally awesome) director/musician. Now, if I ever do become a Director, I'm not sure if I'll stay in Florida. I might go up North somewhere and teach up there forever and ever until I decide to return to Florida to retire
I dunno... things change. Who knows, I might wind up right back here in Gainesville with Mr. Pirzer as his assistant band director!  Yeah... long rant. I'm sorry, but I've been thinking about so much crap lately it's not even funny. If you somehow manage to read all of this in one sitting, then I'm just going to assume you have too much time on your hands   Heather
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ALOHAxLAYOUTS
